I come from a core belief that deeply loving relationships are built on fairness, an equal stake in wealth and emotions, an openness to learning and growing together, and partners who each pull the other upward so that they’ll be better than yesterday.
But many relationships play out as a line in the sand. One partner has a foot on both sides. The other is only standing on one side. Sometimes, the latter isn’t even conscious of this dynamic because it’s been normalized from the outset of their relationship. In some cultures, the earner manages the family. In other relationships, power is balanced by the non-breadwinner appropriating control of all earnings. One brings home the money, and the other controls it. It’s a power redistribution of sorts. Then there are instances where both partners earn – One side considers the other’s income as shared, but theirs is not.
Some may argue that sharing is a logical extension of disproportionate earnings. It would seem fair that the main breadwinner divides their wealth equitably. This is far from reality, where love is not the partnership’s foundation. But even in rare cases where the breadwinning pendulum swings to the other partner, this sharing asymmetry doesn’t change. The line in the sand was established and unalerted from the beginning of the relationship.
When one partner shares and the other only takes, can a dictatorship be a partnership of equitable love?
This mantra is not only relegated to financial inequality. Appropriating a partner’s emotions plays out as a guard vs. prisoner scenario. A narcissistic partner, for example, will take ownership of their companion’s spirit while initially pretending to share their own. It’s a dictatorship of manipulation and coercion played out with Ph.D. precision. If the subjugated partner lacks in self-confidence, they’ll be oblivious to the prison that surrounds them. The fundamental agenda of a narcissist is complete control of their partner’s finances and psychology. “What’s yours is mine. What’s mine is mine”. It’s toxicity at an extreme level and plays out in many forms.
When one partner shares and the other only takes, can a dictatorship be a partnership of equitable love? Or am I asking the wrong questions?
Tags
relationship dynamics, financial fairness, emotional equity, power imbalance in relationships, narcissistic partners, toxic relationships, love and control, financial manipulation, equitable love, emotional abuse, fairness in love, controlling partners, relationship inequality, psychological manipulation, financial dependence, toxic love dynamics, relationship power struggle, partnership vs dictatorship, emotional intelligence in love, self worth in relationships
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#relationshipdynamics #financialfairness #powerimbalance #toxiclove #emotionalabuse #equitablelove #relationshipinequality #narcissisticpartners #financialmanipulation #controllingpartners #loveshouldbefair #relationshipredflags #emotionalintelligence #partnershipnotdictatorship #healthyrelationships #selfworthinlove #psychologicalmanipulation #relationshippowerstruggle #toxicrelationships #emotionalcontrol
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