֍ 37 ֍ What’s Yours Is Ours • What’s Mine Is Mine

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I come from a core belief that deeply loving relationships are built on fairness. An equal stake in wealth and emotions. An openness to learn and grow together. Partners who each pull the other upward, so that they’ll be better than yesterday.

But many relationships play out as a line in the sand. One partner has a foot on both sides. The other is only standing on one side. Sometimes the partner standing on one side only, isn’t even conscious of this dynamic because it’s been normalized from the outset of their relationship. In some cultures, the earner manages the family. In other relationships power is balanced by the non-bread winner appropriating control of all earnings. One brings home the money and the other controls it. It’s a power redistribution of sorts. Then there are instances where both partners earn – One side considers the other’s income as shared, but theirs is not.

Some may argue that sharing is a logical extension of disproportionate earnings. It would seem fair that the main breadwinner divides their wealth equitably. But in instances where love is not the foundation of their partnership, this is far from reality. But even in rare cases where the breadwinning pendulum swings to the other partner, this sharing asymmetry doesn’t change. The line in the sand was established and unalerted from the beginning of the relationship.

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When one partner shares and the other only takes, then what is fair? Can a dictatorship also be a partnership of equitable love?

Or am I asking the wrong questions?

This mantra is not only relegated to financial inequality. Appropriating a partner’s emotions plays out as a guard vs. prisoner scenario. A narcissist partner, for example, will take ownership of their companion’s spirit, while initially pretending to share their own. It’s a dictatorship of manipulation and coercion played out with Ph.D. precision. If the subjugated partner lacks in self-confidence, they’ll be oblivious to the prison that surrounds them. The fundamental agenda of a narcissist is complete control of their partner’s finances and psychology. “What’s yours is mine. What’s mine is mine”. It’s toxicity at an extreme level, and plays out in many forms.

When one partner shares and the other only takes, then what is fair? Can a dictatorship also be a partnership of equitable love? Or am I asking the wrong questions?

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֍ Series ֍ Life • Philosophy • Psychology

Dusil Photography captures exquisite moments with models who dare to be vulnerable and enter the world of sensuality. I’ve been blessed with the freedom to explore their deepest emotions. Whether it’s alluring curves or a seductive gaze, each photograph tells her story. My portfolio reflects a seamless fusion of feminine beauty and compassion.