֍ 34 ֍ Sexuality Isn’t Redefined When Your Single

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Single men are subjected to unfounded scrutiny regarding their sexuality. There’s a convoluted belief that if a man is single for too long then they must have, “turned gay”. I used to imagine conversations at the breakfast table:

Question: “Does he have a girlfriend yet?”
Response: “Not that I’m aware.”
Reply: ” That’s strange. You should check if he turned gay.”
Response: “Good idea. Let me get back to you on that one.”

Friends subliminally tested me on my sexuality for a full decade after my divorce. I’d be subjected to a series of subliminal questions. It was blatantly obvious that heterosexual responses were required for us to proceed with our day. I often wondered if their questioning was subconscious. But I was more curious as to whether they knew – that I knew – that I was being interrogated.

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So here we are. I learn every day. When I’m artistic, my heart fills with joy. I exercise every week. I enjoy building things. I love my children.

What more do I need?

The sad truth with baby boomers – and even my own X-Generation – is that LGBTQ2+ is viewed as a disease. A contagious sickness that anyone can catch by getting too close. This is even more poignant in religious communities who wholeheartedly believe in the ability for anyone to ‘turn gay’ at any moment in time. They also live with the illusion that anyone can undo their ‘gayness’, if they’re taught proper religious doctrine.

I would get caught up in conversations that began with, “You’re still single!? What the fuck’s wrong with you!?”. But I would get a more subdued version, along the lines of,

” Do you have a girlfriend yet?”

“Nope. Not at the moment”

“That’s unfortunate. I know many women who would love for you to come over and fix their things.” At this point I shelve the blatantly matriarchal comment, and respond with,

“I’m happy being single. I don’t get bored, I don’t get lonely. I have many hobbies. I’ve taken care of myself since I was twelve years old, so I don’t need to be mothered. Most importantly, I have peace in my life. In my experience, relationships are incredibly stressful, with a lot of fighting and having my flaws pointed out relentlessly, requiring me to systematically fix them.”

Then comes the kicker, “You remind me of a man that I heard about on the radio – similar to your age – who got divorced and shortly afterwards, ‘turned gay’!”. That would end our conversation with me silently saying, “Wow!”

After ten years of this playing out, like a broken record, I decided to finally change the narrative. Now, when I get the, “girlfriend” question, I begin with, “The sad truth with baby boomers – and even my own x-generation – is that LGBTQ2+* is viewed as a disease. ….”

Baby boomers believe their are only two people in the world: the first are a relationship, and a second want to be in one. Deep rooted systemic insecurity ties individuality to partnerships. The Nietzsche herd are too insecure to contemplate being alone. They can’t imagine anyone wanting to be single. As an INTJ, I find peace and harmony in my own company. I don’t have to argue with anyone. I’m not required to modify my behavior because someone is complaining about it. Nobody talks to me like I’m a piece of shit. There’s no more screaming. I’m not subjected to coercive tactics – asking me to change my personality, “for the betterment of the relationship”. I’ve fully adapted to the single life.

As an engineer, my mind is always filled with numbers. If I’m attracted in 1/20 woman, and 1/20 are attracted to me, that’s 1/400 who share mutual attraction. If 1/20 mutual attractions are actually single at this moment in time – that’s 1/8000 potential candidates. On top of that, I photograph nude woman for a living. I’m quite certain that 99% of these potential candidates would disqualify me as an ideal candidate. So we’re now at 1/800,000. Let’s just round that up to one in a million actual candidates, shall we!

So here we are. I learn every day. When I’m artistic, my heart fills with joy. I exercise every week. I enjoy building things. I love my children. What more do I need?

*For the record, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being LGBTQ2+. I believe this is exclusively an individual choice. Everyone has the freedom to choose their path. No one has the right to judge anyone’s sexuality or gender preference. We’re all free and equal.

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֍ Series ֍ Life • Philosophy • Psychology

Dusil Photography captures exquisite moments with models who dare to be vulnerable and enter the world of sensuality. I’ve been blessed with the freedom to explore their deepest emotions. Whether it’s alluring curves or a seductive gaze, each photograph tells her story. My portfolio reflects a seamless fusion of feminine beauty and compassion.